I know I'm kind of late to the whole "Gossip Girl" game. Sure, it's been a "phenomenon" for like 6 months or whatever, but I couldn't be bothered to watch it until like 3 episodes ago. And so it began — the crazy infatuation one only feels for something as stupid as a TV show. But something plagues me: What is the deal with Chuck? Really. Like that coat last night. It was blindingly orange. Who wears that? And I'm not even adequately conveying this garment — it was straight up ridiculous. And even though I know he was all date rapey earlier this season, I still kind of like Chuck. He's intriguing!

Oh, also, I dropped out of grad school. Not sure if this is just going to be a temporary thing or what, but judging from the way my motivation quickly lost any sort of fuel I probably won't be going back for some time. And just what did I get out of my 3 months as a graduate student? Well I'm so glad you asked!

1) Even more student loan debt! Because the fact that the numbers had started to dwindle was really just too much for me. Who doesn't love debt?!

2) A MacBook. Of course, I could have just gotten this on my own. And it is directly related to No.1 on the list, as I considered it an "educational expense." And what could be more educational than filling hours upon hours with watching YouTube videos and reading Craigslist? Nothing! It's almost like actually having a life!

3) A profound need to warn everyone against web-based courses. They didn't work in undergrad, so God knows why they would work in Master's level coursework. So naive! So filled with hope and delusion! And so wrong.

4) All of the work-avoidance of undergrad with none of the excitement. Of course going to college the first time around is fun. Who doesn't like binge drinking and never going to class, all on the government's and your family's dime? But when you mix actual coursework with actual work work, things get a little hairy. And by hairy, I mean you probably don't even start a 4,000 word paper until, oh maybe 2 days before the deadline. And by then, it's pretty much a matter of time before you throw in the towel. Or actually do the assignment. But in the grand Corey tradition, I chose the former.

I saw the most wacked out bumper sticker EVER the other day. It featured the phrase "Relax! God is in control," which seems innocuous enough. But then as I caught a clearer glimpse, the whole operation started to unravel. Beside the text was a pair of penguins accompanied by what was either 1) the sun, 2) a lion, or 3) a goldfish. I think that in any of these three scenarios, the sticker still holds its own in the crazy arena. Why penguins? Really? For marketability, maybe? In any case, the sticker has been haunting me ever since, not because of the religious message, but because of the illustration. Just trust me when I say it was pretty trippy.